>> Sunday, March 19, 2006

and it seems
like a loss somehow my
heart got lost on
the way to my head
and my brain cells are dead,
and the
craziness
shows,
now I start to go when
the green
turns to red and I should be
dead

Butch Walker Best Thing You Never Had

dun worry. im not all lost. im just glad you showed me yourself what a bitch you are. i bet u dont even read my blog alrdy. coz u are all too involved with what u have now and dont give a shit about me. i love God. i love Him so much. but it pains to keep it all in my heart without venting it out and let you know how i feel. THE THING IS EVEN WHEN I TELL U, U HURT IT MORE WITH YOUR IGNORANCE, NEGLIGANCE AND ANNOYANCE YOU SELFISH SHIT. so why should i say more when you dont care and dont bother. the scary thing is you are no longer the same and you act like nothing happened. the scary thing is you are so good at prentending now. the scary thing is you say you care and the next moment you said its normal for you not to do anything. THE MOST SCARY THINGS IS YOU TOLD ME YOU MINE OR YOUR OPINION AND WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING THAT CONTRADICTS, I CONFRONT YOU ABOUT IT AND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, YOU ACTED SO WELL THAT YOU SAID NOTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE AND ACTED LIKE THE VICTIM OF MY OWN ASSUMPTIONS. it happened SO MANY TIMES. what the fuck is wrong with you ?? why are you able to be so conniving and put on your sheep's clothings so fast that no one noticed? and why is it ppl believe u than to me.. look i know i ain't that perfect of a friend to begin with. but i think i was a friend who stood with you at ALL times. you werent. i was the fren who knows how to make you happy easily. you werent. i was the fren that appreciated all that you do as i will always tell u in corner or a msg saying i appreciated even if i looked like i did not. you did not appreciate a damn shit. i was the fren that no matter what i was tied up with, i will run to your side whenever you needed me. you SO WERENT. i was that very fren who did every single thing that was filled with sincerity and utmost willingness wanting to make you happy. you suck at this most. last time when it seemed like the world was only bothered with their own business, i made sure that it was my business to make you feel like ur world is not alone. and now u kicked me out of the world i tried so hard to make a better place for us to be in. thx letting me see how heartless and ungrateful you are. UNGRATEFUL. and so when you're world seems to be crumbling and you come running back to me to save it and den shove me aside again, trust me. i won't even fidget. coz this was how u treated me when my world was crumbling. you did not bother to save it. God so loved us and want us to be happy. i hope He sends someone else than you to be with me. thx for all the moments before where i really meant something den. now you just shove me aside. im going to look for a new world den. haha one last thing, you are such a s*u*. whew i feel better now.

other than that piece of shit who repeatedly terrorize my life, im quite happy with the way things are. finally managed to go boardgame paradice. it was with donna, imee and shearen. DONNA IS A NEW SISTER OF CHRIST! whoohoo. im suppose to mentor her but. haha she will feel very weird. after a day of acting and pretending to be a huge fan of SUPERSTAR SHEAREN we went to have a meal at roxy square 2 den boardgame paradice. its service is so cool and the person who "served" us was very nice. she's so patient with us la. haha.. yty i did not go sentosa with the guys (gerald they all) yty because I DID NOT TRUST THEM. hahaha jokin la. i got cell that day and there were 3 new faces! yay we are growing! was in a 3v3 match and had to leave coz stupid jeremy left his stupid bag in roxy square 2 with his ipod inside and i went to get it. he owes me a treat. working today. joseph is coming over now to pei wo and entertain me. so thankful for him. he wanted to help me beat up THAT PIECE OF SHIT but i said its ok, i will beat up that person myself. and so lalala.. mariam doest have tissue papaer. so she doesnt wipe her ass. and so, ciaoz!

>> walk in the light

> Rachel Ng
> 19 Feb 1991
> Christian
> Bedok View Sec
> Netball.
> short but nevertheless high self esteem!- imee.

>> running after

>> how great is

Xinyi,
Hanies,
Serena,
Mann
Wei Ling,
Jo,
Abby,
Xiang Luan,
Shearen,
Beverly,
June,
Imee,
Kayan,
Richny,
Yan Jun,
Eunice,
Emerlyn,
Sophia,
Mariam,
Shireen,
Four of them,
Jiahui,
Shafiqah,
Joan,
Try,
Charlotte,
Ngiam,
Donna,
Eileen,
Sheena,
Grace,
Gino,
Daniel,
Zhi Hao,
Sherlynn,
Darren,

>> look back

>> stand before You now

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