nothing will be the same /now that You save me

>> Sunday, August 20, 2006

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what a productive week.

ok first of all its reply tags time. haha this time round, the tagboard totally had tags i totally expected haha

to frost: haha i will ask around who you are but thx for dropping by.

to ?: heylow and yea its a cool concert and yea planetshakers were all christian songs. haha FYI sorry that i was just mentioning the first moments when me and my church went in and forgotten to add the point that its turnout was great and praising God way in the end. im a very forgetful person and many people can testify that haha.

to anon: hey i guess you are pretty subjective. totally appreciate your tag coz i was expecting a tag that was crude and offensive. but i guess you contained yourself pretty well. haha when i wrote that entry on the peer leaders, i was voicing out my friends's frustration. well its my blog anyway and i believe i can say something out considering my friends read my blog and they agree to what i say as thats what they feel. it might make them feel better that im sharing their woes and that i appreciate their work alot coz we are all friends what.

you see on blogs i understand we also have to consider people's feelings before publishing it out therefore i did not mention names. i respect that too. i read many people's blogs before and they were alot worse, cursing and scolding the person out loud in their blogs and screaming out their dissatisfaction. some agree with them some do not. so its unfair to me if you say i dont respect them blog it out just because you dont agree with what i say and you want me to take it back when others agree to what i say. you wouldnt have said anything if it wasnt that what i said was something you didnt agree with.

and thus people are entitled to their own opinions. you tagging in my blog lashing it out to me is also contradicting as you are telling me your opinion to me too and in public right? haha i love bedok view. i love my friends. i love my peer leaders. we have fun and laughs. but we are all leaders. every single one. i can say the peer leaders, every single one of them are powerful in their own way. what makes us a leader is that we have our own mindset and direction and thus we can lead people into there so differences are bound to appear. thats why my entry said that
things like these happen all the time mah and i was just stating one occasion out.

everything in the world has dark and bright surfaces. everything. sorry if you felt that i tarnished the image of peer leaders but im sure every aspect of life, schools and friends there was definitely once a ugly moment. nothing is perfect ok..? bedokview is a great school. but sorry that i showed a dark side of the peer leaders but nothing can be hidden forever. other schools also have departments that have ugly moments and i heard plenty alrdy. the peer leaders are great but nothing is perfect still and i shouldnt be condemned by you just cause i was frank about it. see even though theres so much love between the netballers, haha there WERE bad moments too.

im not trying to defend myself or anything actually i alrdy expected a "hate" tag but i guess you read too much into the issue. you didnt have to point out that you are not a peer leader coz i wont put much attention into what you just said. in fact i hope after this there are no more hard feelings alrdy. keep your head high for us peer leaders coz we will set aside our differences for the best things ahead for you guys in school and move forward and compromise. lots of things are coming up for the students and hope you participate in it. if you are still uncontented, you can come up to me personally and i will listen to your opinions and see if things get better. but like i said, just cause what i said is not what you think should be, it doesnt mean im wrong. and summary of all these, my entry on the peer leaders was not meant to say how shitty they are but just simply blogging what happened in my daily life! and those are common stuff. ok?

(sorry to people who read my blog that i spent a few paragraphs on replying to his tag but not writing of exciting moments involving you guys and i in this blog)

to zhaos: hahahahaha you still remember what look i gave ah?? haha anyway good job on ps!

to daniel: haha thx! FANTASTIC JOB TODAY in buying the stuff for sale. its so last minute and in the end only two of us purchase it but in the end! we got it down. whoohoo!

to marr: you know very well youself how much i love you too. HAHA its a GODZILLA size compared to your dinosaur one

ok done with tags! moving on.. ok thursday training was stupid, crude and hilarious once again. nasha once again was CRUDE.

nazreen: hey theres a feather on your shorts!
me: why is there a feather on your shorts? haha
someone: theres a bird
nasha: I F**KED IT.

hahahaha omg la. i was like WHOAH. haha stupid girls. friday was lovely. although i went to anglican high for the workshop and i dozed off almost half of the session, i went to meet jason and melvin as we were going out. tons of laughs which brought back memories of the past and serena met up with us. we then head to lagoon village along with michelle who caught up with us for dinner and we had even more lame and funny moments. i kept pushing michelle to say whether she liked anyone and she said no one seriously and i had the conclusion that she has no hormones. HAHA melvin said that it was simply not strong enough. cabbed home with serena as her blister was swollen and she cant walk.. i tried carrying her as i couldnt take her limping but she was screaming so i didnt dare alrdy.

had result slips back. im like last in class? even though i passed all this time round but chem and a maths.. its ok. work harder la. sorry mariam.. let you down. im going for obs some more la. its from 18 to 22 sep and end of year exams are on 28 sep. sheesh.. but this opportunity is too hard to turn down..

saturday was tiring sia. pesta sukan was on and had to be at kallang netball centre at 7.20. not bad performance by our team.. held st nicholas girls to a tie. we were leading throughout until we slack off for them to come back to a tie. not sure if thats their first team but fair enough that our team was good. other matches were high and low but then again, good job girls in any ways k! st nicks gave a good fight too. nasha did the greatest thing she ever done for me before by taking a candid shot during that match. and when she showed me the photo, i was so delighted that i could carry her on the spot. it was a very natural photo of a good netball game and happen so i was jumping for the ball. its my photo of the year man! will post it up another time.

then i went to find sheena to past her a card i made for her at kampong arang as she was helping out at the national day parade march by our church. was there to sit around and didnt expect myself to be part of the telematch. got ALOT of good stuff from there and the budget this year was surprising high that yea i had a free giordano shirt and lots of other stuff. what a tiring day but had lotsa fun.

we went to macs for dinner and thats where i cried twice. we were eating and talking and i told them a dream i had that morning. it goes like this..

i was in a excursion bus. suddenly i heard people exclaiming that "oh my god.." and "look!". i didnt get to see the faces of the people who said that and i peeked out to ifnd out what they were looking at. there, i saw amidst this bunch of clouds, there was a dark purple heart. it was very dark but i could tell it was purple. and then a voice so clear said, "its the sign of goodwill." and then in the dream i blacked out..

as soon as i blacked out, i immediately rose from my sleep. my heart was pumping so fast that i was close to shivering. the first thing that came to my mind was "oh my god is jesus here?? oh my god oh my god not now. is it the end??" and i uickly turned to my right. whew.. there it was.. my mum sleeping soundly next to me. thats when i realise.. the sense of urgency. i was so afraid and relieved that it was not the end as my mum was still unsaved. i never shared the gospel at all to her and i will blame myself forever if it was too late. i laid back down on my bed trying as hard as possible to calm down and that things were ok alrdy..

in literature class on thursday. i told ms liew i was thinking of getting a job fast and once i have the money, i will do missionary trips to somewhere and preach. i know its only a dream and i try to think that its not anything. but then again.. faith is based on what you cant see too right? so i believe theres a link.

so at macs i broke down coz i was so afraid that my mum would go to hell and thus resolved to bring people to Christ alrdy esp my love ones. people i so desperately wouldnt want to be separated from. so yty was a day i woke from my slumber and laziness and got motivated by the time that is running out. then me,bev,eunice and sheena shared very interesting things of our lives and just praising Him for everything and we decided to pray in macs. haha despite many people around us and when they pray for me i cried more as i love my mother so much i will never wanna see her suffer. i love you mummy. always

today i went to service and during worship i cried again. i was totally afraid once again and totally thankful to God for so many things he has done in my life.. i love you too God. im not a good child. im not a good christian. im not a good disciple. and so i seek your forgiveness and to change me. thanks for everything

i went to meet daniel after service.. gosh. gosh. gosh. in the end no one was able to turn up. serena legs was infected while nicholas relative gave birth. haha so it was me and daniel that was gonna conquer all woodstuff, glitter and chupa chups! we went bras basah and we bought this

2 stacks of construction paper.
10 wooden heart on sticks
5 wooden badges
box of glitter
1 piece of glue stick
3 big wooden crafts
5 bags of sand

dont underestimenate the weight of them. i went home and bought 120 chupa chus while he went to buy 100 glass bottles. great job la daniel. we couldnt have done it so quick if not for the co-operation we had and definitely your organisation. ok now dinner time. take care people! love you all

7:27 PM
; always and forever.

>> walk in the light

>> running after

>> how great is

>> look back

>> stand before You now

>> pictures!