>> Thursday, February 08, 2007

weiling, i f-king miss you like hell. thing is, you didnt exactly treat me very nice after our "fallout". but you are still very much in my life coz u were such a rare friend. and i blame myself for the fallout and now. sheesh i haven seen you like 2 years and we are leading our own lives still. me in singapore and you in thailand. sheesh i hope theres a chance for us to meet again. once again, i just got flashbacks on all the awesome times we had. if you see this, bear in my mind that you are still in my mind. the one great friend i had. one great f-king fun friend.

hmm i have not blogged for days once again. lol..

i went to shireen's blog and she wrote really nice stuff about missing netball and all. what was depressing was i WASNT IN IT. haha honestly speaking i was disappointed la but i didnt thought much of it. i just sent her a msg "scolding" her but all in a joking manner. the poor girl thought i was angry and msg me the next day with a apology and a list of things on all i had done for/to her that she also misses me alot. i laughed like siao when i read the msg as she was really panicky about it and also had blogged to say sorry to me. its just an "honest mistake" that she forgot to write my name.

my dear shireen, yes we known each other "long" and well. haha you stupid ramly burger. you are the senior i never had, the one that always never fails to make me laugh. and you know that you and the rest of the seniors mean a great deal to me so im glad that you sincerely feel happy at my presence too. haha i was just joking but im glad that this incident allowed me to know what you feel and at the same time feel happy and strong too for this tightly bonded team where i can always be proud to say "i love my seniors". i do not like want it to be a case of "i love my seniors but.. we have problems with one another" therefore TRYPHOZA CHAN I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH TOO.

haha whatever it is, shireen i "forgive" you and haha i really pray that you will always be having that great smile on your face coz you are really one of the best minahs i ever met. HAHA. joking. and so my fingers are crossed for your results tmr!

to my other senior, i told you before you have always been my role model. it breaks my heart to see you cry. it takes tons and tons of strength to break a strong woman like you down and it must be really difficult for you now. i just want you to know that whatever it is, the rest and i will always be there for you to make you laugh whenever you want and i hope i never have the chance again to see you cry coz your eyes are meant to light someone's life up and not for tears. you've been great and i just wanna let you know you are greatly loved by me and im sure many others too. pull it through ok?

to my family/mother, i cant bring myself to talk to you guys anymore. mum you break my heart every single time you speak. i love you very much because you always show me your love through your actions and im able to interpret them very well. but there are too many instance where you had to just be "over-loving" and say things purposely to hurt me, so that i may learn. but i dont want that. i dont want those words out of your mouth. you love me through your actions but seem to detest me with your words. and its always the words that pierce my fragile heart.

mummy, you once in a while will cook the family's favourite herbal chicken which is stuffed with cashew nuts and stuff and steamed for long hours so that the chicken would be tender and all. each time you put it on the table, we all would excitedly reach out and fight for the most valuable part of the chicken. the drumstick. you never fail to put one on my plate. i have a granddad, dad, two bro and a sis. so theres 7 people for two drumstick. always daddy and i get one. and i always love you mummy for a small incident like that.

so plz dont ruin that image everytime you scold me. that night which you caned me was one painful night. i had to endure you sarcasms and ventings as i was too tired to argue because you were stubborn and putting words in my mouth and would not listen to my explanation at all. you hit me so hard that i lost all my love for you. i cried to myself, grit my teeth, unwilling to make any noise of pain as you hit me. because what was more painful was that you werent the mother i loved, the one that i always picture of. that night, you were like a monster.

dont blame me for not talking to you mum. deep down i love you. and i know i will have to talk to you eventually. but.. not now mum. not now. coz i need to pick up the pieces where you last broke..

to the brother and sister i once loved very much, you three just changed with time and i no longer feel attached to you all. we are all individuals now and have our own lifestyles now that its weird to even talk to one another now. why cant we make things better? why must it always be so practical between us. i hate the state we are in but.. i also dont have the courage to change it coz it has been a long time..

to darren and de rong, thank you so much. =) you make me feel like a very close family and sister. i love you two very much and you guys have brightened up my life very very much and you two know it. haha you two really made my life alot sweeter and nicer to go through now. thx for always flowing me money unconditionally and generously without qualms each time i do not have. thx for being unselfish towards everyone and helping in whatever way you guys can for me. thx for always being there for me, through my matches and through my life and problems.

thx for washing up the dishes that night after a night of movies where i was just too tired to help you guys out and dozed off at the couch. thx for letting me have the bed which you guys slept on the couch or floor. thx for respecting my every decision and always giving me priority in whatever i want. you two are perfect gentlemen and im sure whoever you end up with, the girl must be truly blessed as my two great friends are simply heavenly. love you two always.

lol the other night where i led you guys through orchard towers was hilarious! those transvestite just made me laugh so much as the horrified look on you two faces just crack me up tremendously. remember the one with bulging boobs that her/his nipples could be seen? lol

the same night at regents hotel was awesome too. the hotel bar was great and the jazz music was awesome. the atmosphere was just superb and i never felt some comfortable in my life before. it was a wonderful place and the best chilling one i ever had gone. the house wine was bad though, Black Label. its so.. not to my liking. the choc martini was strong but i like while darren's Swing was good too but the vodka aint that strong. haha what to do when we are broke.

then it was really late and i had to cab home but the problem is, i do not wish to spend more than seven on cab fare. haha something im really confident about that i will most definitely be capable of getting. POWERS OF BEING A GIRL. THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING ONE. i told darren to do it for me first coz i was lazy and he hailed like 4 cabs and all turned it down saying its too cheap. haha so i decided to step forward and do the talking. true enough, my first try along with a bit of "sound sweet" voice got me such a cab that was willing to take me home for seven bucks.

"uncle sorry to bother you but theres no bus around now and i only have seven dollars with me. you thinks its possible to take me to Marine Parade with that amount?"
"your two boyfriends there no money ah?"
"no uncle. we three can only fork out seven."
"... seven ah? ok then"

haha the boys faces were stunned la. the trip most probably cost twenty bucks so i was really satisfied getting it at seven. anyways moving on, the netball season is pretty much over for me. im not gonna be play for the netball challenge league as im suppose to be stepping down alrdy so i guess i just had my last touch of a competitive game i will ever have again. =) after 7 worthy years, its time to take a break. good job rachel..

teamsek secondary netball team's jacqueline aka GD, trash talk you another time at any given opportunity ok, haha im rachel and i will never bite my tongue to say something.

like today. xiangluan and i were ordering chocolate ice blended from the cafe and this guy called Hafiz was really loud and rowdy. kept talking and yelling to his friends as he made our drink. i got irritated by it but i didt give much thought. i looked at the colour of our drink and i knew it was not gonna be good alrdy coz it looked really diluted. we waited long for our order and when it finally came, it sucked big time coz it was indeed diluted. me, along with yvonne, randy, erwin and xiangluan were unhappy over the drink. and they keep grumbling about it. randy was damn act about it seriously. he was like " walau! so diluted how to drink! go refund la!" and swing his hands about. then when we walk there he just stood behind us like waiting for something to happen. so i was like "zzz.."

so i just went over to the counter and asked for an explanation or a possible change for a better one. the girl looked at me innocently and pointed to Hafiz as his the one who made the drink. then Hafiz looked at us and walk off. i was jus pissed at that attitude but i didnt wanna blow the matter up as elizabeth alrdy tell me not to pursue it but the thing was i didnt exactly mind what was going on. its because xiangluan they all keep talking about it and were pissed so i decided to do something about it to make them satisfied if not it will always be bugging them. but none of them were gonna make the first move of coz

so i stopped when elize told me too so i walked off with xiangluan and we all throw our drinks. but xiangluan was still talking about Hafiz's lousy attitude and i could hear randy they all still talking about it as i walk off so i stopped in my tracks and asked if xiangluan wants to do anything about it. coz i dont want her to keep thinking about such lousy service and affect her day so i decided to walk back and seek an apology from that guy. yes, randy talk like his gonna beat the guy up but.. lol?

Hafiz was no longer high and mighty like he looked earlier on. he was pretty much afraid when i spoke to him and he kinda argued alot but i was putting on a very stern front and tell him that he was giving really bad service and should never behave like that again. but haha no worries i didnt frighten the guy coz i said "hey we are cool ok? we are cool. just dont ever do it again. walking off like that." and i was like "and now for a situation and time like this, whats the most appropriate thing to say now?" and he was like "what, you all want a refund or.." and i interrupted saying " no thats not what we want. the point is what should be said now after all this has happened?" and he was like " im sorry."

then i looked to yvonne and xiangluan and asked if thats good enough and they nodded their head so i guess they wont be bothered over it anymore alrdy. anyways my neighbour aka Mr Zaldy hasnt been to school for two days and it seems like 3 periods of physics have been missed for 4e1 and thats terrible i supppose. jia you 4e1! today was a very united day for 4e1. pe was of great fun as quite a number of us came because we were gonna play soccer! had so much fun and grace, hanis , xinyi and esp serena were screaming their way thru. good job girls anyway!

my team lost and had to do ten push-ups and such love from grace and the rest insited that we all share the punishment, in the end the whole 4e1 girls did 5 push ups each only. love you girls. then for the first time, the whole class of 4e1 decided to delay ms Goh lesson ten minutes by "hiding" in the lockers. what a hilarious moment. and as a class, we walked to her homeroom in single file according to register number. the classes that we past by were like " what are they doing.. "

its my last year alrdy and i will be going towards another level of my life soon so im trying to cherish every single moment i have in school. great moments and i just wish time will just stay as it is. take care all =)

tag replies:

to LOL: i love you too.

to darren: haha stop being lame in my blog

to R: you are rico right. zz

to ZHAO: haha you sound so lame in my blog! lol no worries. i love you very much little twin sister and your senior can pull through anything

to try: LOL. hahahahaha you are right. look4rach9@hotmail.com

to xinyi: love you too siao cha bo

to serena: go blog la

to darren : yes im alright dear.

to shireen: haha die girl! joking.. the show rocks la

>> walk in the light

> Rachel Ng
> 19 Feb 1991
> Christian
> Bedok View Sec
> Netball.
> short but nevertheless high self esteem!- imee.

>> running after

>> how great is

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