just when i can finally sit down and take a break, to my horror the skies are dark and its currently drizzling. dear Lord, don't do this to me.

i kinda conquered the whole of marine parade, (some say katong) cause i was runnoning around on errands that had to be completed. paper plates, 2 kg cake, brush, satay etc. Yes,

today is my dearest and most beloved BABY brother's birthday!

time really flies. the brother i remember loving every single day of my life, taken care of and playing with, you are seven now. i just want you to know how much you mean to me, how much you changed me, and how much i love you.

you taught me responsibility, you taught me patience, you taught me generousity and most of all, you taught me to love selflessly.

in church i always break down and cry when asked the question "who do you most want to see to be saved by our Lord Jesus Christ in your life" and think of you and mum. would you turn away from Him like mum? would you be just as nonchalent as gor gor and jie jie? would you seek wealth like dad? kenneth, you and mummy are my everything and i can't imagine how empty my life would be without my family and you two fulfill my life.

now that you are seven, i will wait patiently for the day where you can make your own decisions and think for yourself whether is Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior. don't be like me, always indecisive and unappreciative towards him, and not cherish him and take him for granted like many others. instead, be steadfast and a warrior for him because you deserve the best and God can give you the best.

kenneth i want you to know that the whole family loves you more than anything and even though you give money to your girlfriend more than me, i will still not get angry. i will just throw you into the toilet bowl.

just kidding. darling i love you and i wish you blessings after blessings as you proceed on with life and i know you can read this but although you may not understand what jie jie is saying, i hope that someday when i leave you, you will chance upon this blog and know that your jie jie has always loved you, even before you were seven.

you're the best thing that ever happened to me kenneth. the fun and joy you brought to my life was priceless. the support and love you give me when you see me cry is heartfelt. when mum and dad fight, im just glad i have you to hug as you make me strong and let me know that i have a brother to take care of and i need to stay strong. thank you kenneth =)

ok enough of the emo-ness! haha point taken. i love kenneth, and kenneth better loves me back as much but not the same as how he loves strawberry milk.

this morning was meet-the-parents. i was awfully shocked that ms tan had nice and constructive remarks about me. THANK YOU MS TAN! she made me look good in front of my dad. haha.. but she is still quirky to me. haha

oh ya, that BIATCH. YES. an A attached to it, referring to what an ASSHOLE you are along with being a BITCH. you, you, YOU. what RIGHT do YOU have to say that of me? how dare you create any false assumptions about me, saying that you have seen people like me and absolutely know what kind of person i am. you are a piece of shit do you know that? you are a piece of one-sided, annoying, SELF-ABSORBED, YES THATS THE BEST WORD, rude and ridiculous shit.

WALAU. i soooo dislike you even more now. bias, display favoritism so outrightly and unfair lump of dung, can you please get swallowed by a rhino?? you are so proud of your damn self, instead of spreading false impressions to other people and trying to pull them into your gibberish-filled beliefs on people whom you dislike or that are more loved than you ever got in your whole life, try engaging in more responsible activities like having a reality check on your own heartless life.

YOU, should stop picking on me, treating me like a punching bag that you can give sarcastic remarks on whenever you are pissed and start behaving like a impartial adult. yea i saw the look on your huge and cruel eyes before how pissed and annoyed you are when you see teachers close to me. you can't take the fact that how can teachers can students have such close bonds and why are they behaving so closely. maybe if you start being nice, maybe you will be able to receive at most 3 cards for teachers' day.

YOU, also should start being more respectful with your words and comments, say more constructive remarks instead of words that weren't processed through your brains, maybe i will be able to stop getting irritated the moment i step into your class.

YOU, should start learning from mr yong. mr yong and i had our own conflicts before but the moment he offered to clear it up and let me know why he was doing what he was, i knew then things were going to be great and how determined i was in earning his respect back. he was a gentlemen when he acknowledged my effort in class and although he made a wrong judgement on oliver who is not as humble as he thinks oliver is and i do not agree on some of his beliefs like "make an explosion before you leave", i must admit that his a good teacher and is really underrated for his capabilities.

mr yong im sorry for being rude in class on occasions, by sleeping or doing my own work while you teach social studies and i always being able to get away with it. i just wish i can take back my actions and make it right again by getting the results you expect me to get. thanks for the "hidden" supports, the indirect speech addressed to the class although directed at me and i understand your actions.

i hope you still read my blog, haha and see that i truly wanna make amends for what i have done that have contributed to the problems of both of us and get you the marks you truly deserve for the work placed in the students. i apologise once again and seriously appreciated that time when i entered the staff room and you said "hello rachel!" in a joyful manner. i guess, i proved to you that im willing to work hard on the day that i got an A2 for my social studies in mid year exams when all along i was struggling to pass due to wrong techniques and all. i have you to thank for.

and also ms heng and mdm yani! ms heng ah, you are SOOOOOOO dao in school la. SOOOOOOO dao. hahahahaha BUT THEN, you are SOOOOOOOOOO awesome. thank you ms heng, you don't know how much your support means to me. i will make sure all your efforts won't go to waste =). your messages are always sweet. mdm yani yani yani yani~ (the way i always sing it). just to have you smile back at me brightens my day la! its like seeing you walking around looking stern and stopping students in their tracks to catch them for their attire, you never fail to shed that image the moment you see me waving hysterically at you. and as godmother of your child, you have been a great mother and teacher. i love you two!

oh ya p.s., mr yong, can stop gossipping with the teachers about me or not! it terrifies me. haha mr yong, once again thanks for everything.

oh ya RONG RONG IS BACK! walau i missed him like siao la. its always different without him and when we spoke last night, i was really happy for him to see that he enjoyed himself. the guys are coming tonight for the bbq! haha looking forward to see whether has japan made him fat.

teachers who contributed to SSS, thank you so much for your hard work. mr sunny chong has left the school and i really wish him all the best cause his a terrific teacher. mdm teo you really helped me tremendously in my chinese. my report card stated that common test i got an F9 for chinese and now that you inspired me, i have improved so much that i can never believe i get ever see a B3 again. from 23.3 to 65.5. thank you so much. i will build myself up as fast as possible so as not to disappoint you all. thank you so much, and all the other chinese teachers for your efforts.

been hanging out with xinyi and grace alot too. my dears you two have been awesome. xinyi, thanks for being so encouraging and believing in me. and thanks for sharing that same adventurous spirit when looking for Anything and Whatever in bedok market! ahaha we had such wonderful times, (HAHA SEC 1 TOO) and i also wish you all the best in o levels dear! gracie baby i love you lots too. you have been so awesome and hilarious that you never fail to take the smile on my face off me. let's do our best to prove everyone wrong and do great in o levels ok! especially chinese!

and to my always-loving girls, xiangluan, rach, mich and serena. you guys better do well ok because i want nothing but the best for all 5 of us. i love you girls to bits!

GO DIE LA JASON AND MELVIN.

hahahahahaha ok. i wanna watch death note now. MELINDA DOOLITTLE, YOU ARE MY AMERICAN IDOL. imee anra lim, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU, your birthday tmr, i will whip something up. =). i love every single one of you guys in my life, my seniors are dead and im a mugger now. take care everyone!

tags replied:

to xinyi: hahaha im backkkk! thanks for the compliment! letter reading was fun!

to luan: eh you also stupid like me.

to marr: YOU MONKEY LA. its seriously hard to find you guys la. haha anyways i miss you! thanks for your support and i wanna ask how's mass comm in tp. haha and of coz my brother is cute.

to rach: =D

to shirla: haha, no.

to darren: how long ago is this tag? lol

to A: ..!! are you who i think it is? if you are, you better give me a call!

and lastly, kenneth i love you.